🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?